Collaborative Alternatives

Collaborative Divorce^SM: An Interdisciplinary Team Model

Imagine that you have the power to change the way divorce occurs: that you could cure the ills of the present divorce system. What changes would you make? What would you include as essential elements? This was the challenge that the members of the Collaborative Divorce^SM group in Northern California undertook when they first began working together some seven years ago. Out of that conjoint effort, the current interdisciplinary model of Collaborative Divorce^SM was created. The primary premise of the model is that divorce is too complex, on an emotional, legal and financial level for any one professional discipline to manage alone. It assumes that couples and families who are going through the divorce process would be better served by professionals from several but distinct disciplines who would work closely together as a team, rather than as separate (and often disconnected) referral resources. An equally important element of the model is the requirement that the process be disassociated from any adversarial or court proceedings. This concept was based upon the new collaborative law model that Stu Webb had brought to Santa Clara Valley, a key element of which was the stipulation that if the case did become adversarial, the participating attorneys would withdraw, and none of the materials produced by the collaborative process could subsequently be used adversarially. The group believed that if professionals were to work as a team, this stipulation should be adhered to by all members, not just attorneys. Therefore, if either of the divorcing parties left the collaborative process for an adversarial one, all of the team members would withdraw.

With the basic rules in place, the next challenge was to define the team and the roles of each of its members. The original team concept included members from the legal, mental health and financial professions. As it has evolved, it now includes two collaborative law attorneys, two licensed mental health professionals who serve as divorce coaches (usually a male coach for the husband and a female for the wife), a child specialist (also a licensed mental health professional), and a financial specialist. Each serves a distinct and essential function in the process.

THE ROLES OF THE INDIVIDUAL TEAM MEMBERS

The two collaborative law attorneys are an integral part of the team. Each of the parties has his/her own legal "coach" to help them make the best decisions and guide them through the complexities of the process. Often, however, the attorneys found that their clients didn't have the skills or the attitudes necessary to make the process proceed in a way that benefited themselves and their children. Trying to be the "best they could be" without the requisite attitudes or skills was beyond the reach of many clients despite the support of their collaborative attorneys.

Out of this concern, the role of the divorce coach emerged. Distinct from therapy, in that it is focused on achieving the immediate goal of a collaborative divorce, rather than determining core causes of behavior, the coach helps the client learn not only self management skills (including anger management) and stress management, but the communication skills necessary to support the collaborative process. Learning these skills helps each client to address emotional issues that could otherwise subvert the process itself.

Coaches meet with their clients individually, giving support, coaching in the above mentioned skills, while helping them develop confidence in their own abilities. Clients also develop a trust in the process as they effectively tackle the difficult problems of their divorce. In addition, clients and their coaches meet in four-way sessions to help clients put into practice the skills they have learned in individual sessions, changing their long-standing ineffective communication patterns and teaching them to become more effective negotiators. One of the primary goals of the meetings is to help parents develop an effective co-parenting relationship that evolves from their mutual efforts. Through these efforts, they design their co-parenting plan. The coaches also provide a conflict resolution model that each of the parties can use outside their formal meeting. The hope is that they will take these new ways of relating and resolving issues into the future as they form their ! new co-parenting relationship.

THE ROLE OF THE CHILD SPECIALIST

Essential to the Collaborative Divorce process is the child specialist, the only member of the team who functions as a child advocate. Unlike the court appointed evaluator whose role is restricted to evaluation and recommendations, the child specialist is able to assess the child, support the child in expressing his or her feelings and reactions to the divorce and other family issues, while using this information to help the parents understand their child. Rather an "pathologizing" or taking sides, the child specialist's role is one of support and education. Often the child specialist is the one who challenges the parents to be more aware and sensitive to their children's needs. Parents, who otherwise would discount the information as biased, are often surprisingly receptive to the professional who has only their child's best interests in mind.

In addition, the child specialist can give feedback to the team--both attorneys and coaches, that allows them to help the parents in their decision-making. In five-way meetings with the coaches, the child specialist presents information to the parents in a way that helps the parents create a parenting plan that actually takes the child's needs and perspectives into consideration.

THE ROLE OF THE FINANCIAL SPECIALIST

As the team model developed, the need for a skilled professional with knowledge of financial issues specific to divorcing couples emerged. Until this time, traditionally, each party gave the needed financial information to his/her attorney. This information was then shared with the other attorney to assist in reaching a legal settlement. Nowhere in the process was there an opportunity for the couple to sit down with a neutral financial expert to discuss together the pragmatics of their financial situation. Nowhere was there an opportunity for them to begin their collaborative effort by openly sharing this information and beginning a dialogue, sharing their respective concerns about their financial condition and the changes that their divorce would have for themselves and their children. The role of the financial specialist, who often has a background in financial planning, is a CPA or a Certified Divorce Planner, has developed into a new opportunity to counsel couples on the basic pragmatics of their divorce, while facilitating their dialogue about money (a new experience for many couples).

This new function also proved to be invaluable to the collaborative law attorneys, who welcomed the information as well as better informed clients in their own collaborative process. Attorneys were also freed from dealing with the more concrete issues of budgeting and financial education, and could focus on the challenging negotiation/settlement issues.

THE TEAM INTERACTIONS

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of the model is the actual creation of the team. While separate financially, (each discipline sets fees and bills separately), each shares necessary information with other members in planning and strategizing the most effective and supportive way to help the family through divorce. In the field of divorce, this is a revolutionary concept--sharing information among professional disciplines by specialists who function as a team is a new and challenging idea. Yet, the combined efforts of these members, bringing their unique expertise to the divorce process, has created positive outcomes for many couples:--outcomes that they could not have achieved in any of the more traditional models.

The team concept continues to evolve and change. The satisfactions and opportunities for personal and professional growth through teamwork also continue to grow and develop as the model matures over time with the many families who have gone through the Collaborative Divorce^SM process.

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